Only those who will
Risk going too far
Can possibly find out
How far one can go.
~T. S. Eliot.
Good Morning.
Tag - english
I called my friend yesterday night at 10.30 pm on phone, he said he was very busy, working on a special Project “Aqua Thermal treatment of Ceramics, Aluminium and Steel under a constrained environment”.
I was impressed.
Later I realized – saala bartan dho raha tha , under the supervision of his wife !!
English is a Beautiful language !!!😂😂
I called my friend yesterday night at 10.30 pm on phone, he said he was very busy, working on a special Project “Aqua Thermal treatment of Ceramics, Aluminium and Steel under a constrained environment”.
I was impressed.
Later I realized – saala bartan dho raha tha , under the supervision of his wife !!
English is a Beautiful language !!!😂😂
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . .
.
.
Doctor: “What happened?”
. .
.
Woman:” Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp….”
.
. .
Doctor:”I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it…. Just gargle and gargle”.
.
. .
2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.
.
.
. Woman:” Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me.
.
.
.
Doctor: “You see how keeping your mouth shut helps.!
A Lady visited A Bar for the First Time, She Sat on the Table in Front of the Bar Tender..
A Guy at Her Left ordered: “Jack Daniels, Single”
A Guy at Her Right ordered: “Johnny Walker, Single”
The Bar Tender Looked at the Lady & said: And You..??
Lady replied: “Monika Deshpande, Married..!!”
Husband takes the wife to a disco.
There’s a guy on the dance floor living it large – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: “See that guy?
25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
Husband says: “Looks like he’s still celebrating!!!
Excellent. Must Read…Will Learn a LOT….!!!
A rare conversation between
Ramkrishna Paramahansa
&
Swami Vivekananda
Please share with our next generation or read it loud to family, it’s one of the best message I have come across…
1. Swami Vivekanand:- I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic.
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you free.
2. Swami Vivekanand:- Why has life become complicated now?
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Stop analyzing life… It makes it complicated. Just live it.
3. Swami Vivekanand:- Why are we then constantly unhappy?
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Worrying has become your habit. That’s why you are not happy.
4. Swami Vivekanand:- Why do good people always suffer?
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don’t suffer.
With that experience their life becomes better, not bitter.
5. Swami Vivekanand:- You mean to say such experience is useful?
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons later.
6. Swami Vivekanand:- Because of so many problems, we don’t know where we are heading…
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides the way.
7. Swami Vivekanand:- Does failure hurt more than moving in the right direction?
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you.
8. Swami Vivekanand:- In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
9. Swami Vivekanand:- What surprises you about people?
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- When they suffer they ask, “why me?” When they prosper, they never ask “Why me?”
10. Swami Vivekanand:- How can I get the best out of life?
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
11. Swami Vivekanand:- One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
Ramkrishna Paramahansa:- There are no unanswered prayers. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.
Stay Happy Always!
Some facts That will Definitely Make You Feel Old:
.
.
1. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge was released 23 years ago.
2. Windows XP was released 17 years ago, in 2001.
3. The new Millennium is more than 18 years old.
4. Chetan Bhagats antics have been around for the past 14 years!
5. Pierce Brosnan last acted as James Bond 16 years ago.
6. The Delhi Metro has been running for 16 Years now.
7. Its been 17 years since 9/11
8. The Matrix came out 19 years ago, Keanu Reeves is 53 today
9. Mother Theresa and Lady Diana have been dead for 21 years.
10. Remember Jungle Book on Doordarshan? That was more than 22 years ago.
11. Macaulay Culkin is 37 today. Home Alone came out over 27 years ago.
12. Terminator 2 is 27 years old. Edward Furlong who portrayed kid John Connor is 40 now.
13. Sean Connery is 86 years old and retired.
14. The youngest Spice Girl is 41, the oldest Backstreet Boy 45, Gwen Stefani is 47, Madonna 58
15. The first Harry Potter book came out 21 years ago!
16. The first season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S was aired 21 years ago!
17. Akshay Kumar was born in 1967!
18. Arnold Schwarzenegger is older than Independent India. He was born in June 1947
19. Kids born in 2000 can legally drive, drink and vote this year.
20. Jurassic Park is older than Justin Bieber.
21. Rajiv Gandhi has been dead for 25 years.
22. Bryan Adams cult song Summer of 69? was released 33 years ago.
23. Kids whom you remember in their diapers are posting their pics on Facebook.
24. Facebook has been around for 14 years.
25. Remember the little girl from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? She is 30 now.
26. The Maruti Zen was first introduced 26 years ago….
So guys don’t smile reading this.
Its high time you realize that you are getting old..older and soon you would be oldest….
Time is flying ,make every moment special and live every moment bb u become history.
Mindblowing…….😃😃
Some funny but heart touching facts.
👉Airports have seen more affectionate hugs than Wedding Halls..
👉The walls of Hospitals have heard more sincere prayers than the walls of Temples, Masjids & Churches.
👉Good Days or Bad Days depend on your thinking. What you call ” Suffocation” in local train becomes an “Atmosphere” in Disco.
👉Pizza always confuses us. It comes in a square box. When you open it, its round. When you start eating it, its triangle. Life & People are like Pizza. Looks different. Appear different & Behave absolutely different.
👉Position matters..!!!!
8 Apple: Rs.180/-
Apple 8: Rs.80,000/-
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
😂Wedding speech of a girl to her in-laws:
“My dear New Family, I thank u 4 welcoming me in this new house, Firstly I must tell u that my Presence here should not Change ur Life Routines, Those who used to wash cloths must keep on doing it, Those who Cooked must keep Cooking, Those who Clean must keep Cleaning, I’ll not Disturb Anybody’s Routine, So far as I’m concerned, I’m here only to Eat BUN, Have FUN & Control ur SON.
Any questions?
😂😂😝😝
Wife – Lets go for a dinner tonight.
Husband (HR Manager) – Ok.
Husband – Should we go to a cheaper restaurant ?
Wife – No. Let’s go to Royal Palace hotel.
Husband – (silence for a minute) – Ok, See you at 7.O ‘Clock.
On the way, around 6.30 pm…
Husband – Once upon a time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me.
Wife – What’s so difficult in it?
Husband – Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.
Wife – I can easily beat you.
Husband – Please leave it. It’s not your cup of tea.
Wife – Let us have that competition right now.
Husband – So you want to see yourself defeated?
Wife – Let’s see.
They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating…
After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up.
The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, *”You lose.”*
The bill was Rs 150/- and wife was back home and happy as she won the bet.
Moral of the Story…
*Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment!*
Date sheet aa gyi hai tayari kar lo
7 Feb Rose Day
8 Feb Propose Day
9 Feb Chocolate Day
10 Feb Teddy Day
11 Feb Promise Day
12 Feb Kiss Day
13 Feb Hug Day
14 Feb VALENTINES DAY
15 Feb Slap Day
16 Feb Kick Day
17 Feb Perfume Day
18 Feb Flirting Day
19 Feb Confession Day
20 Feb Missing Day
21 Feb Break Up �
143+ I +LOVE+ YOU ????
send to10 best frnds (+me)
see MAGIC in7mins Your true lover will text or call u…
if u ignored,5 years badluck..!
Dear ALL
If U Receive any CALL from income tax department, Don’t panic… Just ask them to send a written notice. Do not provide any details like address or bank details. Please be careful, some fraudsters have started this. They sound very genuine. Be careful and inform all your colleagues/ family/ friends.
Why I’m Hindu ?
A Hindu was flying from JFK New York Airport to SFO San Francisco Airport CA to attend a meeting at Monterey, CA. An American girl was sitting on the right side, near window seat. It indeed was a long journey – it would take nearly seven hours.
He was surprised to see the young girl reading a Bible unusual of young Americans. After some time she smiled and we had few acquaintances talk. He told her that I am from India. Then suddenly the girl asked: ‘What’s your faith?’ ‘What?’ He didn’t understand the question.
‘I mean, what’s your religion? Are you a Christian? Or a Muslim?’
‘No!’ He replied, ‘I am neither Christian nor Muslim’.
Apparently she appeared shocked to listen to that. ‘Then who are you?’ “I am a Hindu”, He said. She looked at him as if she was seeing a caged animal. She could not understand what He was talking about. A common man in Europe or US knows about Christianity and Islam, as they are the leading religions of the world today.
But a Hindu, what?
He explained to her – I am born to a Hindu father and Hindu mother. Therefore, I am a Hindu by birth.
‘Who is your prophet?’ she asked.
‘We don’t have a prophet,’ He replied.
‘What’s your Holy Book?’
‘We don’t have a single Holy Book, but we have hundreds and thousands of philosophical and sacred scriptures,’
He replied.
‘Oh, come on at least tell me who is your God?’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘Like we have Jesus and Muslims have Allah – don’t you have a God?’
He thought for a moment. Muslims and Christians believe one God (Male God) who created the world and takes an interest in the humans who inhabit it. Her mind is conditioned with that kind of belief.
According to her (or anybody who doesn’t know about Hinduism), a religion needs to have one Prophet, one Holy book and one God. The mind is so conditioned and rigidly narrowed down to such a notion that anything else is not acceptable. He understood her perception and concept about faith. You can’t compare Hinduism with any of the present leading religions where you have to believe in one concept of God.
He tried to explain to her: ‘You can believe in one God and he can be a Hindu. You may believe in multiple deities and still you can be a Hindu. What’s more – you may not believe in God at all, still you can be a Hindu. An Atheist can also be a Hindu.’
This sounded very crazy to her. She couldn’t imagine a religion so unorganized, still surviving for thousands of years, even after onslaught from foreign forces.
‘I don’t understand but it seems very interesting. Are you religious?’
What can He tell to this American girl?
He said: ‘I do not go to Temple regularly. I do not make any regular rituals. I have learned some of the rituals in my younger days. I still enjoy doing it sometimes’.
‘Enjoy? Are you not afraid of God?’
‘God is a friend. No- I am not afraid of God. Nobody has made any compulsions on me to perform these rituals regularly.’
She thought for a while and then asked: ‘Have you ever thought of converting to any other religion?’
‘Why should I? Even if I challenge some of the rituals and faith in Hinduism, nobody can convert me from Hinduism. Because, being a Hindu allows me to think independently and objectively, without conditioning. I remain as a Hindu never by force, but choice.’ He told her that Hinduism is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and practices. It is not a religion like Christianity or Islam because it is not founded by any one person or does not have an organized controlling body like the Church or the Order, I added. There is no institution or authority..
‘So, you don’t believe in God?’ she wanted everything in black and white.
‘I didn’t say that. I do not discard the divine reality. Our scripture, or Sruthis or Smrithis – Vedas and Upanishads or the Gita – say God might be there or he might not be there. But we pray to that supreme abstract authority (Para Brahma) that is the creator of this universe.’
‘Why can’t you believe in one personal God?’
‘We have a concept – abstract – not a personal god. The concept or notion of a personal God, hiding behind the clouds of secrecy, telling us irrational stories through few men whom he sends as messengers, demanding us to worship him or punish us, does not make sense. I don’t think that God is as silly as an autocratic emperor who wants others to respect him or fear him.’
He told her that such notions are just fancies of less educated human imagination and fallacies, adding that generally ethnic religious practitioners in Hinduism believe in personal Gods. The entry level Hinduism has over-whelming superstitions too. The philosophical side of Hinduism negates all superstitions.
‘Good that you agree God might exist. You told that you pray. What is your prayer then?’
‘Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,’
लोका समस्ता सुखिनो भवन्तु !!! ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः !!!
‘Funny,’ she laughed, ‘What does it mean?’
‘May all the beings in all the worlds be happy. Let there be Peace, Peace,and Peace every where.’
‘Hmm ..very interesting. I want to learn more about this religion. It is so democratic, broad-minded and free’ she exclaimed.
‘The fact is Hinduism is a religion of the individual, for the individual and by the individual with its roots in the Vedas and the Bhagavad-Gita. It is all about an individual approaching a personal God in an individual way according to his temperament and inner evolution – it is as simple as that.’
‘How does anybody convert to Hinduism?’
‘Nobody can convert you to Hinduism, because it is not a religion, but it is a Culture, a way of living life, a set of beliefs and practices. Everything is acceptable in Hinduism because there is no single Authority or Organization either to accept you or to reject you or to oppose you on behalf of Hinduism.’
He told her – if you look for meaning in life, don’t look for it in religions; don’t go from one cult to another or from one Guru to the next.
For a real seeker, He told her, the Bible itself gives guidelines when it says ‘ Kingdom of God is within you.’ I reminded her of Christ’s teaching about the love that we have for each other. That is where you can find the meaning of life.
Loving each and every creation of the God is absolute and real. ‘Isavasyam idam sarvam’ Isam (the God) is present (inhabits) here everywhere – nothing exists separate from the God, because God is present everywhere. Respect every living being and non-living things as God. That’s what Hinduism teaches you.
Hinduism is referred to as Sanathana Dharma, the eternal faith. It is based on the practice of Dharma, the code of life. The most important aspect of Hinduism is being truthful to oneself. Hinduism has no monopoly on ideas. It is open to all. Hindus believe in one God (not a personal one) expressed in different forms. For them, God is timeless and formless entity.
Ancestors of today’s Hindus believe in eternal truths and cosmic laws and these truths are opened to anyone who seeks them. But there is a section of Hindus who are either superstitious or turned fanatic to make this an organized religion like others. The British coin the word ‘Hindu’ and considered it as a religion.
He said: ‘Religions have become an MLM (multi-level- marketing) industry that has been trying to expand the market share by conversion. The biggest business in today’s world is Spirituality. Hinduism is no exception’
He said “I am a Hindu primarily because it professes Non-violence – ‘Ahimsa Paramo Dharma’ means – Non violence is the highest duty. I am a Hindu because it doesn’t condition my mind with any faith system.
A man/woman who changes his/her birth religion to another religion is a fake and does not value his/her morals, culture and values in life.
In Hinduism we don’t have any managers of god.
Some say “Be Muslim”. Some say “Be Christian”. Vedas say “Be Human”.
Some say “Follow Prophet”.Some say “Follow Jesus”. Vedas say “Follow Conscience”.
Some say “God is over 7th Sky”. Some say “God is over 4th Sky”. Vedas say “God is with me, within me”.
Some say “God tests”. Some say “God punishes”. Some say “God forgives”. Vedas say “God supports”.
Hinduism is the original rather a natural yet a logical and satisfying spiritual, personal and a scientific way of living a person’s life.
(Copied from wall of Atin Dutta)
Suresh changed the subject to “Happy birthday Kalpesh ”
Suresh – Happy bday Kalpesh🎊🎉
Raju- Happy bday Kalpesh🎈💰🎄
Ganesh – Happy bday Kalpesh🍻🍸🍤
Rhohit – Happy bday Kalpesh🎊🍕🍔
sagar – Happy bday Kalpesh 🍜🍖🍗🍻
Neha : hb
Rahul: Happy birthday kalpesh 🍖🍖🍰🍰
Yogesh: Happy b kalpesh 🍫🎁🍗
Pintya: Happy Birthday kalpesh
Jitendra: Happy birthday kalpesh ♨🎊🍰
Kalpesh – Thanks Neha..😊😊
😂😂😂😂😝😝😝
Suresh changed the subject to “Haramkhor Kalpesh”
WOW 😂
Software engineers 😆
Businessman : I want to transfer my single bed from my existing home to new home which is approx 10 KM. The bed is not fitting in my car and Movers & Packers are asking for a price almost equal to the price of bed. What should I do ???
Software engineers
: Sell it on Quikr and Buy it again on Quikr from the new address with two different login ID’s. Make payment by paytm. Quikr will transport it for free & you can also get the Paytm Cashback.
😎😄😎😄😎😄
Topjokes.in
😜😜😜Best Joke ever 😜😜😜
Some Ladies were Sitting in a Park every day. I was observing them daily as they were Talking and Laughing Loudly.
One day I observed everybody is silent. There must be some Serious issue or Incident Happened.
So I went to a Lady and asked, Why everybody is Silent Today?
The Lady replied, All Are Present Today.
It took me a whole minute to understand this. 😂😝😜
I had an x-ray done today and they found you in my heart . 😉 The doctor said if you are removed from my heart I would die 😱, because I couldn’t live without such an amazing person like you .😋 Give this heart 💜 to everyone whom you don’t want to lose in “2017” including me if you care ☺ Try to collect (15) hearts it’s not easy. 😊 Be honest ! Send this to anyone who made you smile this year …
Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this your mind is still young.
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1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
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C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15!
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
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Coming *February 2017* cannot come in your life time again. Because *2017 Year February* has:
*4 Sundays*
*4 Mondays*
*4 Tuesdays*
*4 Wednesdays*
*4 Thursdays*
*4 Fridays*
&
*4 Saturdays*.
This Happens once every *823* years. This is called *money bags*. So send to atleast *5 people* or *5 Group’s* and money will arrive within *4 days*. Based on *Chinese Feng Shui*. Send within *11 minutes* of reading. *💰*
Attention all traders and bussinessmen
Be careful while depositing new currency notes in the bank. The bank staff is changing details of your new currency notes of 2000 and 100 into old 1000 and 500 in the system.
Today I Deposited Rs50000/- in my cc account with denominations as under
15×Rs2000=30000
200×Rs100=20000
——————————–
Total Rs 50000/_
———————————-
But I got two sms of deposit of Rs7000/- and Rs43000/- indicating deposition of old 500/- and 1000/- notes.
On enquiring from the branch it was made clear that they have changed the currency denominations. All this was done to make someone’s black money white.However i got it rectified and bank manager appologised.
Kindly be attentive because at the end of the day we will have to face IT authority and not the bankers and they will deny this at that time. So while depositing new currency notes kindly get it endorsed from the bank and keep a proof with you.
Kindly spread this message
*Fwd – Kindly keep a photocopy/mobile photo of deposit slip*
Coming *February 2017* cannot come in your life time again. Because *2017 Year February* has:
*4 Sundays*
*4 Mondays*
*4 Tuesdays*
*4 Wednesdays*
*4 Thursdays*
*4 Fridays*
&
*4 Saturdays*.
This Happens once every *823* years. This is called *money bags*. So send to atleast *5 people* or *5 Group’s* and money will arrive within *4 days*. Based on *Chinese Feng Shui*. Send within *11 minutes* of reading. *💰*
I love this English cricket team…. The thinnest guy is called broad, ugliest guy is called swann, slowest fielder is trott, guy who is ‘behind’ the stumps is called prior, and guy whose father’s name is john is called peter-son …..And the guy who is named Monty goes in with his clothes on.
No doubt, this Cricket team deserves to be led by a Cook…
And yes, they have a Butler too…..
India first country to sucessfully send a spacecraft to mars in its first attempt.
World’s first garden tomb was constructed in India
India is home to the oldest civilization in the world
Largest number of vegetarian in the world
Largest producer of milk in the world
India is home to all major religions of the world.
Largest Montessori school in the world
Highest cricked ground in the world from sea level.
SundarVan: largest mangrove in the world
Largest Postal network in the world
Home to a number of martial art forms
Zero Interest Is Indian Gift To World
Largest Road Network : 32 lakh KM
Takshilla : Oldest University in the world.
Largest buyer of gold in the world from india.
Largest democracy in the world
Chess is India’s gift to the world
River Ganga is the most populated river basin in the world
Surgery was invented in India
Largest number of mosques in the world
Outsourcing capital of the world
Largest number of train passengers
Delhi has the world’s second largest airport
Kumbh Mela: largest religious gathering in the world
Navigation was invented in India
Varanasi : Oldest city in the world
Largest number of English speakers in the world
World leader in diamond polishing
World’s largest school lunch programme
India is the most peace-loving country
Largest number of dialects and languages
Largest number of elected persons in the world
Only nation to develop thorium-based nuclear power
Lowest cost commercial satellite launcher
Only developing nation to have a nuclear submarine
World’s cheapest car: Tata Nano
India is home to all religions since ancient times
Cheapest call rates in the world
World’s lowest cost supercomputer
One of only 5 nations to send a mission to Moon
World’ largest producer of two-wheelers
Largest oil refinery in the world
World’s highest motorable pass
World’s largest producer of butter
Largest number of bank account holders
Largest producer of movies
World’s lightest and smallest 4th generation fighter aircraft
Yoga was born in India
Wettest place in the world
First country to consume sugar
World’s biggest family is in INDIA
This IS Our INDIA
– topjokes.in
Data Collected From Internet Just For You 🙂
New loot style on highways: Number plate Robbery: There is a new number plate hijacking trend. Hi-jackers follow you to a parking lot, after you leave your vehicle, they remove your number plate and wait. When u come back and drive off, they follow you. They then overtake you, displaying your number plate out of their window as if you just lost it and they want to give it back to you.
When you stop to get your number plate back, guns come out and they take the car. Maybe even take you and your car. It’s a very well rehearsed and organised plan and everything happens very quickly. Other motorists may not be aware of what is happening as you stopped the car yourself. Pls alert others to this danger!!! Don’t keep this news. Spread it.
As per the latest information, you can deposit your old 500/1000 Notes even after 31 March, 2017.
Five banks in India have been specially assigned the task of accepting your notes for as long as it is needed.
No ID proof will be asked too.
No source of income.
The five banks are:
.
.
.
.
.
banks of Yamuna
banks of Ganga
Banks of godavari
Banks of Krishna
And banks of kaveri.
😝😝😝
*why RBI is issuing ₹2000 Rupees Notes *
The Rs 2000 currency is designed keeping in mind to eradicate the black money issues using state of the art indigenous nano technology, every Rs. 2000 currency note is embedded with a *NGC (Nano GPS Chip)*
*How the embeded NGC Technology Works?*
The unique feature of the NGC is it dosent need any power source. It only acts as a signal reflector. When a Satellite sends a signal requesting location the NGC reflects back the signal from the location, giving precise location coordinates, and the serial number of the currency back to the satellite, this way every NGC embedded currency can be easily tracked & located even if it is kept 120 meters below ground level. The NGC cant be tampered with or removed without damaging the currency note
*How will this help eradicate black money menace?*
Since every NGC embeded currency can be tracked. The satellite can identify the exact amount of money stored at a certain location. If a relatively high concentration of currency is found a certain location for a longer period of time at suspicious locations other than banks & other financial institutions. The information will be passed on to the Income Tax Department for further investigation
*Just a beginning of the end of black money in India*
#topjokesapp
On a different note, please educate yourself and help others to prevent a panic situation. Help your domestic help, maid, driver, Aayah by educating them on how to exchange their money. Give them short term loans to help them tide next few days. Talk to them about this change. Don’t let them get sucked into ponzi schemes. Do your bit please.
I asked God
“how to handle life”?
God Replied ” Check Your Room”
My room gave me all the answers:
Roof said : Aim high.
Fan said : Be cool.
Clock said : Value time.
Calendar said: Be up to date.
Wallet said : Save now for the future.
Mirror said : Always observe yourself.
Lamps said : Light up other’s life.
Wall said : Share others’ load.
Window said : Expand the vision.
Floor said : Always be down to earth.
Stairs said : Watch each step you take.
And I Said
Thank You God!👌👌👌👌👌👌
विशेष सूचना…..
China stopped water supply into Brahmaputra River North East part of India…. Todays i.e. 01.10.2016….Zee News Report Effect will be seen within 7 days in India….
Plz boycott Chinese Goods…. Indirectly China supporting Pakistan….
आज कल चाइना के आइटम्स पर
Made in China लिखा नहीं आता है।अब लिखा आता है made in PRC मतलब People Republic of China
सभी को forward करे।
चाइना आइटम्स का बहिष्कार करें।🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Kisi bhi DESH ka goods kharidunga per China nhi….
Four newborn babies get mixed up in Maternity ward…
A German,a Jew, a Paki and a Saudi.
Nurse panics, but the Doc looks extremely confident and says..
Don’t worry, I’ll sort this out. He shouts, “HAIL HITLER”!
Instantly, The German salutes, the Jew shits in his diapers and the Saudi tells the Paki to clean the shit.
😂😂😂
Once Ashish was travelling by train in A/c class. He was traveling from Manmad to Bangalore!
He was traveling alone!
:
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth!
Ashish was pleasantly Happy!
The lady kept smiling at him! This made Ashish even more Happy!
Then she went and sat next to him!
Ashish was bubbling with Joy!
She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear ” Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me
else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me”
Ashish stared blankly at her!
He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote ” I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say”
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him!
Ashish took her note, kept it in his pocket!
He got up and told her in clear tones…”Now shout & scream!!”
MORAL OF THE STORY : DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT
😄😀😄
_An engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop_…
_He went to him & said.. “Look at this engine… I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back”…So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums_….!
_The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said…. “Try the same when the engine is running_.”
👌👏 classic!
_Continuation_
.
_The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said_
_I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . . . . . can you_ ???
*Not only classic but Epic*☺😎
http://topjokes.in
Very interesting!!!!
DID YOU KNOW THAT..……
★ Ants never sleep!
★ When the moon is directly overhead, you will weigh slightly less.
★ Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never called his wife or mother; because they were both deaf.
★ An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
★ “I Am” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
★ Babies are born without knee caps – actually, they’re made of cartilage
and the bone hardens, between the ages of 2-6 years.
★ Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.
★ Butterflies taste with their feet.
★ A “jiffy”, is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
★ It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
★ Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
★ Minus 40° Celsius, is exactly the same as minus 40° Fahrenheit.
★ Shakespeare invented the words “assassination”and “bump”.
★ Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
★ Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
★ The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
★ The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the English language.
★ The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
★ The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
★ The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
★ Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from the blowing desert sand.
★ TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
★ Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
★ The dot over the letter “i” is called a ‘Tittle’.
Must Share and Spread Knowledge !
New genaration Letters
A for #apple
B for #Bluetooth
C for #chat
D for #Download
E for #Email
F for #Facebook
G for #Google
H for #HP
I for #iphone
J for #Java
K for #Kingston
L for #Lenovo
M for #Messenger
N for #Nikon
O for #Opera
P for #Photoshop
Q for #QRcode
R for #RAM
S for #Skype
T for #Twitter
U for #USB
V for #Vista
W for #Wifi
X for #XP
Y for #Youtube
Z for #Zip
Greattt New # Genaration
Girls language that guys should
know
1. If I didn’t call you I’m just
waiting for you to call me
2. When I’m mad and I walk
away from you follow me
please?
3. When I push and hit you grab
me and don’t let me go
4. When I ignore you give me
your attention
5. When I say I hate you say I
love you to me
6 .When I say it’s too cold hug
me tight
7. When I tickle you tickle me
back
8. When I stare at you I want a
kiss
9. When I started to cry tell me I
can cry on your shoulders
10. When I give up on us tell me
that you will fight for us.